“I’ll eat anything you want me to eat. I’ll swallow anything you want me to swallow. But, come on down and I’ll… chew on a dog! Arroooo!” -Betelgeuse One of my favorite games to play is, I like to call, “How Much”. It gauges people’s tolerance of grotesqueness against their financial need. As in… 1. [...]
Which came first, the ear canal or the Erie Canal? Obviously the anatomical channel we now call the ear canal came first, but before the Erie Canal, did we call the ear canal the ear canal? Or something else, like the Hearing Tunnel? I mean, the human body only has one or two “canals”: the [...]
One of my personal bodily functions has kept me perplexed: my left armpit takes on quite a sweaty smell while my right one always smells fabulous! Now I have several theories as to why this is. Perhaps the sweat-eating bacteria has only colonized my left armpit, and thus excreting their smelly excrement only on that [...]
When I was 12 or 13 and just starting to sprout new hairs, my friend Gizzie was over swimming in our pool. “Oops!” she said, adjusting the crotch of her one-piece swimsuit, “gotta tuck the pubes in!” Now I had no idea someone our age had enough pubes to stick out of a swimsuit, never [...]
Now I’m not talking Hershey’s Squirts, I mean purely gaseous farts that leave no visible trace: What happens to them? It makes me think back to medieval times, where everyone smelled horribly but no one knew it because they were so used to the smell. Are people from the future going to suck farts into [...]
My friend and client Karen Klein gave me candles from her candle company. With scents like “Wild Peony Lotus Flower”, “Millefiore Honey Aromatic Tea”, and “Old World Tulip Italian Bergamot”, these super-high quality paraffin candles have inspired wonderment in my household. However, the question remains: Where does the wax go? I know it’s burned down [...]
