I knew the drill. “Bottoms off, only” the receptionist told me, as she walked me into the exam room and started to close the door. I straddled astride the table, bottoms off. I laid back on the table and opened up a Star Magazine. It’s my fourth treatment but my warts are only getting worse [...]
One of my personal bodily functions has kept me perplexed: my left armpit takes on quite a sweaty smell while my right one always smells fabulous! Now I have several theories as to why this is. Perhaps the sweat-eating bacteria has only colonized my left armpit, and thus excreting their smelly excrement only on that [...]
When I was 12 or 13 and just starting to sprout new hairs, my friend Gizzie was over swimming in our pool. “Oops!” she said, adjusting the crotch of her one-piece swimsuit, “gotta tuck the pubes in!” Now I had no idea someone our age had enough pubes to stick out of a swimsuit, never [...]
Now I’m not talking Hershey’s Squirts, I mean purely gaseous farts that leave no visible trace: What happens to them? It makes me think back to medieval times, where everyone smelled horribly but no one knew it because they were so used to the smell. Are people from the future going to suck farts into [...]
Until college, I had always gone to the same pediatrician. I went to the gyno too; as soon as I got my first visit from Auntie Flo, my mom had me on birth control, and I guess pediatricians don’t handle that stuff. There would be no teen pregnancies under our roof! At some point, [...]
